Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Nameless Hero

Fear is the bind that tied me... I didn’t know how to really deal with it myself but I just knew how I felt. I have been alone and kept myself that way out of fear of once again looking into the eyes of someone that I loved and then realizing that those eyes didn’t love me back... I have what seems to be a curse in my ability to love and care to the deepest levels. I have always had no fear in caring and taking on pain of others as a show of my loyalty and affection. But time and time again my small world has been flattened because I believed in hearts that didn’t want to be believed in… but just wanted to have their egos stroked or to simply fulfill a quick fantasy with my body.  I found myself always having to start over and try again until I finally said no more and closed up shop on expecting love, friendship, or motivation from people. I began to accept life as it was and not how it could be if we would just try...
 I was so afraid of being hurt again that I sought the relationships that I knew had a predictable beginning and end so that I could be prepared for the disappointment and manage the collateral damage inflicted on my heart. I became the “guy on the side” because I felt like having a love of my own just wasn't a possibility for me... I thought that someone telling me they loved me in addition to their “everyday mate” was better than nothing at all... Even if it meant staying up at night wondering if they were saying the exact same thing to the person they laid next to every night... I would be with them and have to stay quiet when the phone rang because their "real man" was calling and they had to answer in order to keep confusion down... In my twisted mind I thought that was me being strong... but after enough time passed I began to realize that all I was doing was burying my own soul and hiding my inner light and turned dark. Upon realizing this I just went into seclusion and would rather die as a lonely old man than go through this one more time... I had an expectation of pain and disappointment in everyone that met and acted as such... I tried to blame it on today’s culture and lost my true self for a while... I would get approached by all these women and I knew they just wanted to have an "experience" with me then go back home to their real lives... I was disgusted with myself and them so I turned to ice... 
Then you will come...
 
I can’t explain the feeling I’ll feel when I can hear your voice and the music of your vocal cords play in my heart for hours on end. The genuine interest that you have in my existence and the concern you show for my simplest needs of hearing an “I love you” to having no fear of representing me in the public eye has rekindled that dim light  inside of me and created a super nova and you don't even know it... you will just be being you. You’ll bring down years of pain built walls in a matter of minutes it seems. I have yet to meet you but I can feel you... I will always owe you for the mere thought of your existence has changed my life. I have once again returned to pure gold and can bless the world with my shine…
Thank you my nameless... 

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Political Mayhem


I must say, the republicans have really outdone themselves this time…  Their latest attempt to dilute the black vote is absolutely astounding to me.  Also, the fact that they think we are so stupid as to fall for such a thing.  I’m willing to bet that there was a private committee meeting amongst the elite strategizing on how to remove President Obama from office and somebody stood up and said “Lets get us a negro…better yet, we’ll get two!!”  And then came Herman Cain and Robert Johnson…
                The tactic was even better than I had thought it out to be.  It’s not to put an African-American candidate that has better qualifications in the race to beat President Obama square and fair, but to put one in so ridiculous that we don’t want to vote for an African-American period!  Herman Cain has gone on record saying some of the most outlandish and blasphemous statements I’ve ever heard.  And that 666 oops I’m sorry that 999 plan of his won’t even help 999 people.  
                Now let’s talk about our other supposed to be role model Robert Johnson… His great idea is to make fortune 500 companies require that minorities get a guaranteed opportunity to interview for top jobs.  If you think about it that helps even less people than the 999 plan.  How can the African-American people get a shot at the top spot when can’t get access to the same type of education to qualify us for the job? You have millions of people that need work period to eat and all you want to do is open up a few “shut em’ up” jobs in high places.  The president has tried time and time again to put projects in place to get immediate jobs going to help the lower and middle class people but the republicans stop it every single time. Those of us that were getting unemployment and it stopped, Obama extended it for us and the Republican Party went crazy!  I was amazed at the fact that they truly did not care if people had food on their tables… Really? So that’s how you do us?  That’s your mission Tea Party?
                No matter what Mr. Cain and Mr. Johnson try to say to black voters, we will always see the two of you as a fluke.  Both your plans boil down to exactly the same thing, the poor paying taxes while the rich get tax incentives…  We see straight through that token negro package you have put together and will not fall for it…